Positive

So I started a new blog about my regrets, and well, that's kind of depressing. :/ so I think I'll start listing a bunch of stuff I'm thankful for because I'm feeling like being a positive person! :D And hey it's never too early to start that Thanksgiving stuff.

I'm grateful that I have a supportive family and parents that aren't too strict
I'm grateful I live in a nice area where the crime rate's pretty much non-existant
I'm grateful to go to my school, where there's not a huge focus on popularity and where the homecoming court always consists of band members
I'm grateful I have four limbs, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, one nose, a mouth, and hair that grows (I just had to make that rhyme :]])
I'm grateful that I don't have some sort of terminal illness
I'm grateful I'm in two advanced ensembles on an instrument I picked up a year ago
I'm grateful I have two amazing sections full of awesome people who I love
I'm grateful I have amazing friends who I know will be there for me (and I for them) forever
I'm grateful that, after a year, a friend of mine thinks CS might like me back
I'm grateful my sex and gender are the same (there's a difference)
I'm grateful I'm not pregnant
I'm grateful I can sprint - not incredibly fast, but it's something
I'm grateful I've never been in a major accident
I'm grateful I've never broken a bone
I'm grateful for all the opportunities I have had
I'm grateful I don't have braces any more so I'm not afraid to smile
I'm grateful I have rice cakes
I'm grateful my area's so diverse that I can take Japanese at school
I'm grateful for an amazing music program
I'm grateful for an adorkable dog
I'm grateful my mom trusts me enough to let me drive her car
I'm grateful I've never gotten a ticket (then again I've only been driving for like a month)
I'm gratefulI have a house, a room, a bed
I'm grateful I can show who I am in public without fear, unlike in some places
I'm grateful I have and iPod, phone, and camera, which I payed for/ earned myself
I'm grateful for marching band, for all of the amazing experiences and people
I'm grateful for Scott Lang, who I wish I could hear speak every day of my life
I'm grateful for the internet
I'm grateful I'm not deaf, so I can hear music
I'm grateful I'm not blind, so I can see people's shining faces
I'm grateful I have a voice, both literally and figuratively - yay first amendment
I'm grateful I don't have a school uniform
I'm grateful I can dye my hair purple
I'm grateful I have hair
I'm grateful I'm free
I'm grateful I have shoulders to cry on
I'm grateful I have people to laugh with
I'm grateful I've been able to travel the world
I'm grateful I'll most likely be seeing a lot more of it
I'm grateful I'm not addicted to anything
I'm grateful I don't drink
I'm grateful I don't sit around watching tv all day and rotting my mind etc
I'm grateful for my clothes
I'm grateful for all 18 pairs of shoes I own (hey I never get rid of old ones okay? D:<)
I'm grateful I have a crush - it gives me something to strive for, a reason to better myself
I'm grateful I'm not lactose-intolerant - I love milk too much
I'm grateful I don't have to be vegetarian
I'm grateful my parents let me go to dances
I'm grateful for all my wonderful books
I'm grateful for all the music I own
I'm grateful my mom allows me (or @ least she used to) to have stuff on my walls
I'm grateful I can choose how I want to live my life
I'm grateful I got to see the first Wicked SF performance in a long time with no standins or subs
I'm grateful to have sat in the second row while watching said show
I'm grateful I've been in two wonderful musicals and hope to be in more soon
I'm grateful I'm alive
I'm grateful nobody wants me dead (I hope)
I'm grateful I don't have to be afraid to speak my mind
I'm grateful I can still spell grateful and that the word hasn't lost all meaning after this many 'grateful's
I'm grateful I'll still be alive tomorrow to write down more of these

Defy Gravity
~Izzy

So today was interesting. We had placement auditions for orchestra, and so Eric and I went in at break before orchestra even started and were practicing up until Boitz came in and was like 'OKAY AUDITION TIME NAO', which was like 15 minutes into the period. I let him go first, cause y'know he's an upperclassman and he's earned that privelege. :P After we practiced the kinda-impossible sixteenth and 32nd note parts for such a long time, Boitz only made us play the parts with quarter notes. And only three of the scales. Woow. Whole lotta stress for nothing. At least then I got to practice Bass Guitar more. :D And I finished some chem stuff and yaay! :D I still had questions, though, so I went to go see Kucer after school and he helped a lot. Sucks cause if we had had more time in class then we could have gotten to that topic and things woulda made a lot more sense. D: But hey at least I understand now! Then I went with Lenny back to good old M01 to practice Bass Guitar for a bit. But then that got boring so we went to actually HELP Ms. Cochrum instead of bothering her all the time. Twas fun. Stole- er... borrowed a school Bass Guitar so I could practice for JB2... hopefully it doesn't rape me again tomorrow :D Methinks that's all for now :]

Defy Gravity~

-Izzy

Stalker/Boys/Rant

PRE-RANT RANDOM NOTE:
I've had this song from The Wiz stuck in my head lately... It was the musical at my middle school in 7th grade, yet I can't remember what it's called and I'm too lazy to go dig my old script out of the pile of junk in the closet. Two random lines are stuck in my head... except I'm not quite sure of the words, just the melody... Which I can't exactly type. I'll look it up on Youtube and post the link...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkevAOJsjKI
I DISCOVERED THE LYRICS I HAD IN MAH HEAD.
'So when my world's gone and changed its face, still I know where I'm going!
I have had my mind spun around in space, and yet I can still see it growing'
or something like that

ON TO THE RANT.

So these past few days we've had an evening block of marching band rehearsal from 6-9pm... And at the same time, there's been speech and debate at the school doing practice or socializing and bonding or god knows what. Which would be fine, I know a girl in it that used to be in band, and she's nice, most of them are sane. Except that there's this one guy in it who's reeeally weird. Total creeper. He kinda stalked me at the beginning of last year... and he liked me and stuff, but I didn't like him at all. And when I was waiting to be picked up from Band, a bunch of speech and debate people were outside in the same area. I hid behind this possible-druggie alto sax guy. Neither of them noticed. Thank god. Last thing I want is to see him again. >___<>incredibly good-looking. Really. It's gotten out of hand. (edit i have no idea what happened there oops)

Looking back at that it is kinda mean... :/ but that's like last resort if even bass buddy tactics don't work. I'm really hoping he learned his lesson last year and it was a hormonal type thing that's now gone away. -crosses fingers- Unfortunately, he's going to be in my orchestra period, but so is CS ;] and bass buddy. But if i have any classes with him and no bass biddues or anyone to protect me, I'm going to die. D: seriously. Well, I guess I'll try to get to sleep somehow now. :/ I don't really want to, even though I have an early morning, then a sleepover tomorrow and school monday... Oh well.

Vowing to be nice to people this school year :]

Defy Gravity.

-Izzy

Memories

Wow I kinda forgot about this thing...

On a slight fml note, I just found out yesterday that this guy I went out with from 6th-7th grade broke up with me because his High School-age brother told him and his twin sister that they were too young to date. We were too young anyways and looking back, I'm glad it ended when it did, but really now? If I had an older sibling that said I should break up with whoever I'm going out with, I'd be like noo eff you. Though again, I'm glad he didn't say that and ended it. :]

(on a random note my hunger isn't really back but I've got something similar now that's still more ignorable than the normal kind)

Anyhoo... Band camp. Highlight of my summer currently. Last week was the first week, and it was helllla intense. This week we have a 5-hour break in the middle of the day to save ourselves from dying from heatstroke, even thoguh it was pretty cool out today. Even so, during the last run-through, soem guys took off their shirts. As always. Crazy band kids. But a combination of that and seeing the football players leave the field before our rehearsal made me realise something. Band guys are ten million times cuter than football players. I dunno what it is, maybe the football players at our school are unnaturally ugly or something, cause they sure aren't like the stereotypical hotties in the movies. In fact, I don't like football. Sure, call me a bad American, but the only way you can get me to watch and pay attention to that game is when I'm in the stands in a hot uniform with a heavy instrument and I need to pay attention a) to find out when to play, and b) cause there's nothing else better to do. The only thing i slightly enjoy about it is asking CS what the heck's going on and having him explain it. Yay conversation!

Speaking of him... Well, I dunno. We're next to each other in drill (I made sure that happened), and we're gonna be in orch and stuff together... And this year I vowed to grab life by the horns, cause I just regret not doing so many things Freshman year. So I think I'll have to tell him some time. At the band retreat and before hand I'd talked to two of my guy friends about it and one was like 'GO FOR IT ALREADY' and the other was... well, himself. He seemed sad that I regretted so much. And then there was the third guy who just moved here from Texas and overheard my conversation with the second guy and was completely confused. But that's to be expected, he plays sax. :P

I think that's all for now. :]

Defy Gravity
-Izzy

Partay / DCI / Parade / Etc.

Just dug this up from like... The middle of June. Oops. I didn't know the thing auto-saved. So i typed all of this nad never posted it cause i thought it was lost.
Holaaa! :] so i haven't blogged in a long time but there's been some awesomeness going on lately...

On Thursday I went to a friend's B-Day Party and we watched Apoolo 13. At the beginning my friend who'd already seen it had us convinced they were all gonna die and then they didn't so it was like yaay! :D Then we ate dindin and Sophie was my Alfredo buddy! Yay pasta. And then I got to help start the fire cause I'm like the world's BIGGEST pyro evah! :]] And then we decided to go in the hot tub / pool but the pool was too cold so I only went in the hot tub. It was weird like when we got out we were all making smores and enjoying them despite talking about how they were gonna make us fat the whole time and it was only me and two other people still in swimsuits and every time I complained (just trying to fit in with the convo you know) they were like 'yeah and you're sitting there in your little BIKINI complaining?'. ;-; I kinda only wore it cause I JUST got rid of my shorts tan from last year's band camp and I don't want it to come back if I wear board shorts. Honestly, I'd usually wear board shorts cause my legs are really fat and stuff but hey I'm trying to maintain my tanline. Even though we were swimming at night. Whatever. Afterwards we played the most epic game on the face of the planet, Quelf. It's got different colors of cards which mean you do different things like act something out or there's a new rule or something and it's really random and now I have 2 friends that have it so we can have more spaz time yay! :]


And then yesterday I went to DCI West at Stanford. In case you didn't know, DCI stands for Drum Corps International, so it's pretty much professional Marching Band... It started out pretty crappy with a few Open Class (which is the lower level) Corps that I'd never heard of. They were pretty bad. The guard was so oblivious sometimes it made me cringe. But then on came the Santa Clara Vanguard Cadets, and theres a guy that just graduated from my school that's on drumline in that so in my section (which was filled with our band peeps) there was like major cheering going on when they came out. They were really good. And then there was Blue Devils B which I remember like nothing about except for the fact that they have the same uniforms as us but in different colors. :O and then there was Blue Devils C, which was just about the cutest Corps I have ever seen. The oldest person was their drum major, I think, who looked to be about our age, and the youngest was a girl who was probably 4 or 5 who followed an older kid while waving a rose cause she was too small for a flag. And this band had a rifle line. Which made me sad, cause I learned a ten-year-old can catch a rifle better than me. They were amazing for being like 5-15 years old.

Oh, brother...

So lately I've been trying to be nice to people, my brother included. But sometimes, he just does the stupidest things that reallly hurt me and doesn't even realise.

I woke up early this morning to check my grades, which I'm pretty pleased with, and then went out to the kitchen as usual. I quietly opened the door to the kitchen and closed it behind me, not slamming. 'GOD, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?' he yelled, making me flinch as his voice hurt my sensitive morning ears. So as to have an argument of not saying a word to him though he complained of the nonexistent noise i was supposedly making, I passed by him without a word. I looked around for my mom, and after I didn't find her. asked him where she was. No response. After the third time asking he screeched 'SHE'S STILL IN BED, CAN'T YOU TELL THAT? GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID.' I was clicking around, checking my grades some more on my laptop, which I'd brought out with me, when he made a disgusted noise and pushed his chair away from the computer where he'd been doing something or another. 'Why'd you log into your iTunes on my iPod?' he accused, voice at a somewhat normal volume. I told him I hadn't, and he fumed 'Well, you logged into it on this computer so my iPod logged in to it too.' What the heck? So now it's my fault when his iPod does something stupid. Goed, don't even go there. I told him that was unfair, and then he yelled at me for logging into iTunes on the computer instead of doing it on the other one. I told him this one had all of the Library, and I didn't know if the other one did, so I liked to use this one and he went all blaming me for not using my OWN computer, which doesn't have any songs on it, and then bitched about not having a computer.

He's such a brat sometimes. I got my computer less than a year ago, as a priveledge for going into High School, and he wants one NOW because he's such a little prick that he can't just share with the rest of us (we have at least TWO other computers he could use for school and anything else he wanted to, he doesn't even need his own) and he claims he won't be happy until he gets a Mac.

This whole thing is pretty much just pure stupidity, and it all spawned from the fact that my parents are lettinghim get a phone. AT THE END OF 6TH GRADE!?!? I didn't get mine til I turned 13, and I was one of the first of my friends to get one... Even when I didn't have one, I didn't bitch about it so much. Sure, I tried to heckle my mom into letting me have one just a bit, but nowhere near as much as he does it. ;-; And even worse, he may be getting an iPhone. Which is the epitome of unfairness. Cause I still have the same crappy phone from when I first got a phone, and though it works fine, does it seem fair at all that i should have this piece of shit when he has something so nice?

And this is his present for 'good grades'... A standard come up with by my parents thats a whole LETTER GRADE higher for me than for my brother. When they first came up with it, my dad was like 'oh, so brother, if you get all a's and b's then you'll get a reward at the end of the semester.' turns to me and goes 'you too, a's and b's' but then my mom goes 'nonono, she has to get all a's' which made me like wtffff but it worked cause if I had the option of my parents being okay with b's, I would have worked probably half as hard as I did. :/ So because of this whole phone thing, he now thinks that nothing will be denied of him. And he's stillbothering my parents about getting a Macbook because they haven
t sat him down and screamed 'NO FREAKING WAY' in his face, so there's no room for confusion. Cause I know that's what it'll take to get him to bugger off.

Oh and the other thing, texting. My brother's been talking about texting for months now, he started researching it before he was even possibly getting a phone. Again, something unneccesary that I never complained about not having. My dad even asked me if I wanted it for my good-grades reward, and I told him no, it was just another thing to distract me from practicing and homework and stuff. I don't wanna watse my life away texting everyone about every stupid little thing.

He came in here a few minutes ago to apologize. Not because he noticed I stormed off after five minutes of his yelling and stupid accusations, but because I told my mom what happened (this happens like every day) and she MADE him come back her and say he was sorry. First he yelled it down the hallway, which made me know he didn't mean it, and even when he came to the door and looked me in the eye, the words obviously had no meaning, the way he slowly said each one in that tone you's use when talking to someone you know you're smarter than who's slightly hard of hearing. Really now? I don't blast my ears out with my stupid iTouch 24/7, and I got hella better grades then you little mister, so you better freaking be sorry.

Sorry to rant, I know I said I wouldn't I'm just really pissed right now.

Defy gravity.

-Izzy

Thoughts

So summer's kind of a thinking time, I guess...

I've been watching more of the videos I used to watch... If you don't know what those are meh you'll figure it out. Just some stuff I had to get down here...

Wow I totally knew what I was going to write about but I forgot...

Well first of all... I made a sorta display of pages from Entertainment Weekly from the issue where there was a bunch of Twilight stuff... It was from back when I absolutely loveloveloved Twilight. I... don't like it now. I mean like when I feel like I need to hear about some romance, hey, maybe I'll pick up my taped-up old copy just for laughs. But whatever. :/ Twilight reminds me of the times in 7th grade when I believed the kinds of things that could happen in the book would. I had a boyfriend at the time, who I considered much 'higher-up' than I was, so I guess I kinda believed in the 'totally hot guy falls for okay girl' thing, but at the same time I also believed in the 'together forever omg <3'>:(
Meh it's k I'm over it. As evident by the fact that I RIPPED ALL THE TWILIGHT STUFF OFF OF MAH WALLS. My wall space is too valuable. I gotta plaster it with band pictures and stuff now :]

Anyhoo. So I've been watching those videos and... It's weird cause they make me think of myself at the beginning of the year, when I would think back to 8th grade and the guys I liked then and be like whoaa wtf. And now... I just don't know any more. Do I keep pursuind CS? Nobody else's spiked my interest, so I guess so. I think if even the slightest thing were to happen between us, my sort of passion would come back strong again.

And they reminded me how I hatehateHATE stereotypes. For instance, I should either be incredibly outgoing or a bookworm, fantasize about Edward Cullen and Orlando Bloom, listen to hip-hop and rap, and chew ten packs of gum a day. But that's not me at all. I guess I'm kinda outgoing, but not in the typical way. And to heck with Orlando Bloom - I went through all of 'Disturbia' without once drooling over Shia cause Aaron Yoo was soo much hotter. Yay for obscure people I whouldn't liek but do? -jazz hands?- Rap needs to die, techno and jrock are ten million times better. And I have braces, of course I don't chew gum. Really. Yeah for defying the norm. Which I guess is like gravity. It holds you down. Defying Gravity! Yeah Wicked reference :D Boo yeah. Blonde hair blue eyes ftl. People - don't give up on anthing because of who you are or because stereotypes are against you. Be your own person. Who are 'they' to control your life?

Defy Gravity

-Izzy