Positive

So I started a new blog about my regrets, and well, that's kind of depressing. :/ so I think I'll start listing a bunch of stuff I'm thankful for because I'm feeling like being a positive person! :D And hey it's never too early to start that Thanksgiving stuff.

I'm grateful that I have a supportive family and parents that aren't too strict
I'm grateful I live in a nice area where the crime rate's pretty much non-existant
I'm grateful to go to my school, where there's not a huge focus on popularity and where the homecoming court always consists of band members
I'm grateful I have four limbs, ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, one nose, a mouth, and hair that grows (I just had to make that rhyme :]])
I'm grateful that I don't have some sort of terminal illness
I'm grateful I'm in two advanced ensembles on an instrument I picked up a year ago
I'm grateful I have two amazing sections full of awesome people who I love
I'm grateful I have amazing friends who I know will be there for me (and I for them) forever
I'm grateful that, after a year, a friend of mine thinks CS might like me back
I'm grateful my sex and gender are the same (there's a difference)
I'm grateful I'm not pregnant
I'm grateful I can sprint - not incredibly fast, but it's something
I'm grateful I've never been in a major accident
I'm grateful I've never broken a bone
I'm grateful for all the opportunities I have had
I'm grateful I don't have braces any more so I'm not afraid to smile
I'm grateful I have rice cakes
I'm grateful my area's so diverse that I can take Japanese at school
I'm grateful for an amazing music program
I'm grateful for an adorkable dog
I'm grateful my mom trusts me enough to let me drive her car
I'm grateful I've never gotten a ticket (then again I've only been driving for like a month)
I'm gratefulI have a house, a room, a bed
I'm grateful I can show who I am in public without fear, unlike in some places
I'm grateful I have and iPod, phone, and camera, which I payed for/ earned myself
I'm grateful for marching band, for all of the amazing experiences and people
I'm grateful for Scott Lang, who I wish I could hear speak every day of my life
I'm grateful for the internet
I'm grateful I'm not deaf, so I can hear music
I'm grateful I'm not blind, so I can see people's shining faces
I'm grateful I have a voice, both literally and figuratively - yay first amendment
I'm grateful I don't have a school uniform
I'm grateful I can dye my hair purple
I'm grateful I have hair
I'm grateful I'm free
I'm grateful I have shoulders to cry on
I'm grateful I have people to laugh with
I'm grateful I've been able to travel the world
I'm grateful I'll most likely be seeing a lot more of it
I'm grateful I'm not addicted to anything
I'm grateful I don't drink
I'm grateful I don't sit around watching tv all day and rotting my mind etc
I'm grateful for my clothes
I'm grateful for all 18 pairs of shoes I own (hey I never get rid of old ones okay? D:<)
I'm grateful I have a crush - it gives me something to strive for, a reason to better myself
I'm grateful I'm not lactose-intolerant - I love milk too much
I'm grateful I don't have to be vegetarian
I'm grateful my parents let me go to dances
I'm grateful for all my wonderful books
I'm grateful for all the music I own
I'm grateful my mom allows me (or @ least she used to) to have stuff on my walls
I'm grateful I can choose how I want to live my life
I'm grateful I got to see the first Wicked SF performance in a long time with no standins or subs
I'm grateful to have sat in the second row while watching said show
I'm grateful I've been in two wonderful musicals and hope to be in more soon
I'm grateful I'm alive
I'm grateful nobody wants me dead (I hope)
I'm grateful I don't have to be afraid to speak my mind
I'm grateful I can still spell grateful and that the word hasn't lost all meaning after this many 'grateful's
I'm grateful I'll still be alive tomorrow to write down more of these

Defy Gravity
~Izzy

So today was interesting. We had placement auditions for orchestra, and so Eric and I went in at break before orchestra even started and were practicing up until Boitz came in and was like 'OKAY AUDITION TIME NAO', which was like 15 minutes into the period. I let him go first, cause y'know he's an upperclassman and he's earned that privelege. :P After we practiced the kinda-impossible sixteenth and 32nd note parts for such a long time, Boitz only made us play the parts with quarter notes. And only three of the scales. Woow. Whole lotta stress for nothing. At least then I got to practice Bass Guitar more. :D And I finished some chem stuff and yaay! :D I still had questions, though, so I went to go see Kucer after school and he helped a lot. Sucks cause if we had had more time in class then we could have gotten to that topic and things woulda made a lot more sense. D: But hey at least I understand now! Then I went with Lenny back to good old M01 to practice Bass Guitar for a bit. But then that got boring so we went to actually HELP Ms. Cochrum instead of bothering her all the time. Twas fun. Stole- er... borrowed a school Bass Guitar so I could practice for JB2... hopefully it doesn't rape me again tomorrow :D Methinks that's all for now :]

Defy Gravity~

-Izzy

Stalker/Boys/Rant

PRE-RANT RANDOM NOTE:
I've had this song from The Wiz stuck in my head lately... It was the musical at my middle school in 7th grade, yet I can't remember what it's called and I'm too lazy to go dig my old script out of the pile of junk in the closet. Two random lines are stuck in my head... except I'm not quite sure of the words, just the melody... Which I can't exactly type. I'll look it up on Youtube and post the link...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkevAOJsjKI
I DISCOVERED THE LYRICS I HAD IN MAH HEAD.
'So when my world's gone and changed its face, still I know where I'm going!
I have had my mind spun around in space, and yet I can still see it growing'
or something like that

ON TO THE RANT.

So these past few days we've had an evening block of marching band rehearsal from 6-9pm... And at the same time, there's been speech and debate at the school doing practice or socializing and bonding or god knows what. Which would be fine, I know a girl in it that used to be in band, and she's nice, most of them are sane. Except that there's this one guy in it who's reeeally weird. Total creeper. He kinda stalked me at the beginning of last year... and he liked me and stuff, but I didn't like him at all. And when I was waiting to be picked up from Band, a bunch of speech and debate people were outside in the same area. I hid behind this possible-druggie alto sax guy. Neither of them noticed. Thank god. Last thing I want is to see him again. >___<>incredibly good-looking. Really. It's gotten out of hand. (edit i have no idea what happened there oops)

Looking back at that it is kinda mean... :/ but that's like last resort if even bass buddy tactics don't work. I'm really hoping he learned his lesson last year and it was a hormonal type thing that's now gone away. -crosses fingers- Unfortunately, he's going to be in my orchestra period, but so is CS ;] and bass buddy. But if i have any classes with him and no bass biddues or anyone to protect me, I'm going to die. D: seriously. Well, I guess I'll try to get to sleep somehow now. :/ I don't really want to, even though I have an early morning, then a sleepover tomorrow and school monday... Oh well.

Vowing to be nice to people this school year :]

Defy Gravity.

-Izzy

Memories

Wow I kinda forgot about this thing...

On a slight fml note, I just found out yesterday that this guy I went out with from 6th-7th grade broke up with me because his High School-age brother told him and his twin sister that they were too young to date. We were too young anyways and looking back, I'm glad it ended when it did, but really now? If I had an older sibling that said I should break up with whoever I'm going out with, I'd be like noo eff you. Though again, I'm glad he didn't say that and ended it. :]

(on a random note my hunger isn't really back but I've got something similar now that's still more ignorable than the normal kind)

Anyhoo... Band camp. Highlight of my summer currently. Last week was the first week, and it was helllla intense. This week we have a 5-hour break in the middle of the day to save ourselves from dying from heatstroke, even thoguh it was pretty cool out today. Even so, during the last run-through, soem guys took off their shirts. As always. Crazy band kids. But a combination of that and seeing the football players leave the field before our rehearsal made me realise something. Band guys are ten million times cuter than football players. I dunno what it is, maybe the football players at our school are unnaturally ugly or something, cause they sure aren't like the stereotypical hotties in the movies. In fact, I don't like football. Sure, call me a bad American, but the only way you can get me to watch and pay attention to that game is when I'm in the stands in a hot uniform with a heavy instrument and I need to pay attention a) to find out when to play, and b) cause there's nothing else better to do. The only thing i slightly enjoy about it is asking CS what the heck's going on and having him explain it. Yay conversation!

Speaking of him... Well, I dunno. We're next to each other in drill (I made sure that happened), and we're gonna be in orch and stuff together... And this year I vowed to grab life by the horns, cause I just regret not doing so many things Freshman year. So I think I'll have to tell him some time. At the band retreat and before hand I'd talked to two of my guy friends about it and one was like 'GO FOR IT ALREADY' and the other was... well, himself. He seemed sad that I regretted so much. And then there was the third guy who just moved here from Texas and overheard my conversation with the second guy and was completely confused. But that's to be expected, he plays sax. :P

I think that's all for now. :]

Defy Gravity
-Izzy

Partay / DCI / Parade / Etc.

Just dug this up from like... The middle of June. Oops. I didn't know the thing auto-saved. So i typed all of this nad never posted it cause i thought it was lost.
Holaaa! :] so i haven't blogged in a long time but there's been some awesomeness going on lately...

On Thursday I went to a friend's B-Day Party and we watched Apoolo 13. At the beginning my friend who'd already seen it had us convinced they were all gonna die and then they didn't so it was like yaay! :D Then we ate dindin and Sophie was my Alfredo buddy! Yay pasta. And then I got to help start the fire cause I'm like the world's BIGGEST pyro evah! :]] And then we decided to go in the hot tub / pool but the pool was too cold so I only went in the hot tub. It was weird like when we got out we were all making smores and enjoying them despite talking about how they were gonna make us fat the whole time and it was only me and two other people still in swimsuits and every time I complained (just trying to fit in with the convo you know) they were like 'yeah and you're sitting there in your little BIKINI complaining?'. ;-; I kinda only wore it cause I JUST got rid of my shorts tan from last year's band camp and I don't want it to come back if I wear board shorts. Honestly, I'd usually wear board shorts cause my legs are really fat and stuff but hey I'm trying to maintain my tanline. Even though we were swimming at night. Whatever. Afterwards we played the most epic game on the face of the planet, Quelf. It's got different colors of cards which mean you do different things like act something out or there's a new rule or something and it's really random and now I have 2 friends that have it so we can have more spaz time yay! :]


And then yesterday I went to DCI West at Stanford. In case you didn't know, DCI stands for Drum Corps International, so it's pretty much professional Marching Band... It started out pretty crappy with a few Open Class (which is the lower level) Corps that I'd never heard of. They were pretty bad. The guard was so oblivious sometimes it made me cringe. But then on came the Santa Clara Vanguard Cadets, and theres a guy that just graduated from my school that's on drumline in that so in my section (which was filled with our band peeps) there was like major cheering going on when they came out. They were really good. And then there was Blue Devils B which I remember like nothing about except for the fact that they have the same uniforms as us but in different colors. :O and then there was Blue Devils C, which was just about the cutest Corps I have ever seen. The oldest person was their drum major, I think, who looked to be about our age, and the youngest was a girl who was probably 4 or 5 who followed an older kid while waving a rose cause she was too small for a flag. And this band had a rifle line. Which made me sad, cause I learned a ten-year-old can catch a rifle better than me. They were amazing for being like 5-15 years old.

Oh, brother...

So lately I've been trying to be nice to people, my brother included. But sometimes, he just does the stupidest things that reallly hurt me and doesn't even realise.

I woke up early this morning to check my grades, which I'm pretty pleased with, and then went out to the kitchen as usual. I quietly opened the door to the kitchen and closed it behind me, not slamming. 'GOD, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?' he yelled, making me flinch as his voice hurt my sensitive morning ears. So as to have an argument of not saying a word to him though he complained of the nonexistent noise i was supposedly making, I passed by him without a word. I looked around for my mom, and after I didn't find her. asked him where she was. No response. After the third time asking he screeched 'SHE'S STILL IN BED, CAN'T YOU TELL THAT? GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID.' I was clicking around, checking my grades some more on my laptop, which I'd brought out with me, when he made a disgusted noise and pushed his chair away from the computer where he'd been doing something or another. 'Why'd you log into your iTunes on my iPod?' he accused, voice at a somewhat normal volume. I told him I hadn't, and he fumed 'Well, you logged into it on this computer so my iPod logged in to it too.' What the heck? So now it's my fault when his iPod does something stupid. Goed, don't even go there. I told him that was unfair, and then he yelled at me for logging into iTunes on the computer instead of doing it on the other one. I told him this one had all of the Library, and I didn't know if the other one did, so I liked to use this one and he went all blaming me for not using my OWN computer, which doesn't have any songs on it, and then bitched about not having a computer.

He's such a brat sometimes. I got my computer less than a year ago, as a priveledge for going into High School, and he wants one NOW because he's such a little prick that he can't just share with the rest of us (we have at least TWO other computers he could use for school and anything else he wanted to, he doesn't even need his own) and he claims he won't be happy until he gets a Mac.

This whole thing is pretty much just pure stupidity, and it all spawned from the fact that my parents are lettinghim get a phone. AT THE END OF 6TH GRADE!?!? I didn't get mine til I turned 13, and I was one of the first of my friends to get one... Even when I didn't have one, I didn't bitch about it so much. Sure, I tried to heckle my mom into letting me have one just a bit, but nowhere near as much as he does it. ;-; And even worse, he may be getting an iPhone. Which is the epitome of unfairness. Cause I still have the same crappy phone from when I first got a phone, and though it works fine, does it seem fair at all that i should have this piece of shit when he has something so nice?

And this is his present for 'good grades'... A standard come up with by my parents thats a whole LETTER GRADE higher for me than for my brother. When they first came up with it, my dad was like 'oh, so brother, if you get all a's and b's then you'll get a reward at the end of the semester.' turns to me and goes 'you too, a's and b's' but then my mom goes 'nonono, she has to get all a's' which made me like wtffff but it worked cause if I had the option of my parents being okay with b's, I would have worked probably half as hard as I did. :/ So because of this whole phone thing, he now thinks that nothing will be denied of him. And he's stillbothering my parents about getting a Macbook because they haven
t sat him down and screamed 'NO FREAKING WAY' in his face, so there's no room for confusion. Cause I know that's what it'll take to get him to bugger off.

Oh and the other thing, texting. My brother's been talking about texting for months now, he started researching it before he was even possibly getting a phone. Again, something unneccesary that I never complained about not having. My dad even asked me if I wanted it for my good-grades reward, and I told him no, it was just another thing to distract me from practicing and homework and stuff. I don't wanna watse my life away texting everyone about every stupid little thing.

He came in here a few minutes ago to apologize. Not because he noticed I stormed off after five minutes of his yelling and stupid accusations, but because I told my mom what happened (this happens like every day) and she MADE him come back her and say he was sorry. First he yelled it down the hallway, which made me know he didn't mean it, and even when he came to the door and looked me in the eye, the words obviously had no meaning, the way he slowly said each one in that tone you's use when talking to someone you know you're smarter than who's slightly hard of hearing. Really now? I don't blast my ears out with my stupid iTouch 24/7, and I got hella better grades then you little mister, so you better freaking be sorry.

Sorry to rant, I know I said I wouldn't I'm just really pissed right now.

Defy gravity.

-Izzy

Thoughts

So summer's kind of a thinking time, I guess...

I've been watching more of the videos I used to watch... If you don't know what those are meh you'll figure it out. Just some stuff I had to get down here...

Wow I totally knew what I was going to write about but I forgot...

Well first of all... I made a sorta display of pages from Entertainment Weekly from the issue where there was a bunch of Twilight stuff... It was from back when I absolutely loveloveloved Twilight. I... don't like it now. I mean like when I feel like I need to hear about some romance, hey, maybe I'll pick up my taped-up old copy just for laughs. But whatever. :/ Twilight reminds me of the times in 7th grade when I believed the kinds of things that could happen in the book would. I had a boyfriend at the time, who I considered much 'higher-up' than I was, so I guess I kinda believed in the 'totally hot guy falls for okay girl' thing, but at the same time I also believed in the 'together forever omg <3'>:(
Meh it's k I'm over it. As evident by the fact that I RIPPED ALL THE TWILIGHT STUFF OFF OF MAH WALLS. My wall space is too valuable. I gotta plaster it with band pictures and stuff now :]

Anyhoo. So I've been watching those videos and... It's weird cause they make me think of myself at the beginning of the year, when I would think back to 8th grade and the guys I liked then and be like whoaa wtf. And now... I just don't know any more. Do I keep pursuind CS? Nobody else's spiked my interest, so I guess so. I think if even the slightest thing were to happen between us, my sort of passion would come back strong again.

And they reminded me how I hatehateHATE stereotypes. For instance, I should either be incredibly outgoing or a bookworm, fantasize about Edward Cullen and Orlando Bloom, listen to hip-hop and rap, and chew ten packs of gum a day. But that's not me at all. I guess I'm kinda outgoing, but not in the typical way. And to heck with Orlando Bloom - I went through all of 'Disturbia' without once drooling over Shia cause Aaron Yoo was soo much hotter. Yay for obscure people I whouldn't liek but do? -jazz hands?- Rap needs to die, techno and jrock are ten million times better. And I have braces, of course I don't chew gum. Really. Yeah for defying the norm. Which I guess is like gravity. It holds you down. Defying Gravity! Yeah Wicked reference :D Boo yeah. Blonde hair blue eyes ftl. People - don't give up on anthing because of who you are or because stereotypes are against you. Be your own person. Who are 'they' to control your life?

Defy Gravity

-Izzy

Wicked

Like omg guess what I saw last night?
WICKED.
We drove for like an hour up to San Fran, went to dinner across the street from the theater, and then went and saw it and it was the single most amazing thing I think I have ever seen in my entire life oh my god I loved it so much. I cried SIX TIMES. Two or three of which were during the song 'Defying Gravity', which is actually a happy song, but it was so beautiful I cried. Teal Wicks was amazing as Elphaba and I was sososososoooo glad it was her and not the Standby... Who probably would have been great but she just blew me away. And on top of it all we were in row freaking B. Which is like the second row. And we were in the middle. Lenny got the best seat, even though she'd seen it before, but we had the three middle-est seats on the right side of the second row and it was amazing. We were so close I could see the mics on the actors' foreheads, almost got hit by a bubble from one of the bubble blowers on Glinda's magic bubble thing. :]

And now a little mini-rant on each of the reasons I cried. The following may contain spoilers, but I'd appreciate it if you'd read it anyways... not that anybody does :/

So the first time I got teary was during this song called 'I'm Not That Girl'... So basically, Fiyero (who was HOT, but not my type :P) and Glinda were like all lovey (this is like in college beeteedoubleyoo) and Fiyero's popular and like a prince and everybody likes him and same with Glinda and they're both pretty and seem kinda shallow. So Fiyero's all really nice to Elphaba, this other girl (who later becomes the wicked witch of the west) at this one point and they obviously like each other a lot and they're kinda awkward and it's like awwwwww but then Fiyero goes off to save this cub he and Elphaba rescued and so Elphie's kinda left there alone thinking about omg I like this guy but he's wonderful and I'm green (like literally) and why the heck would he ever love me when he's got Glinda the amazingly beautiful and loved and she things this song that almost made me cry... Explaination after lyrics:

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

The middle-endish part especially affected me where it describes this perfect girl and is like 'thats the girl he chose, and heaven knows, I'm not that girl'. Because that's kinda how I feel about life and stuff. CS is like Fiyero, hot and popular, and so is the person he likes (I'm pretty sure of it) , so she's like Glinda... And then I feel like Elphaba a lot of the time. I'm just kind of there at first... We haven't gotten to the later part where it's like omfg i lub joo more than the shallowish popular girl. :/ I hope that happens one day... So when Elphaba sang this song, I could barely see from the welling tears, because it reminded me so much of my life... so when Glinda sang a reprise of it when suddenly she wasn't that girl and Elphie got the hottie, I was definitely smiling. :]

And then of course defying gravity. I thought she was going to die in the part right before it, so that had me a little sniffly, but then that dried by about halfway through. And then there's an incredibly epic part where guards storm in looking to capture Elphie but grab Glinda instead cause elhpie was hiding in the shadows (secretly getting on a platform/harness thing for hte next part) and then she sing something like 'it's not her you want, it's me... it's meeeee!' and then my favorite part ever came and I had tears streaming down like rain... I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo,
At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me,
Take a message back from me:
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity!
I'm flying high,
Defying gravity!
And soon I'll match them in renown.
And nobody in, all of Oz.
No Wizard that there is or was.
Is ever gonna bring me down!

I FREAKING LOVE THAT PART. And Elphaba rises up on a platform or something and she's got this huge cape thingy and the lighting and the background music and everything is SO FREAKING EPIC describing it's giving me wave after wave of goosebumps.... And then it was intermission.

I honestly don't quite remember the crying times after that... I think I got teary when Elphie and Fiyero were all lovey cause it was so sweet and then he 'died' and I definitely cried as soon as the first word of 'For Good' was sung, cause that's just the most beautiful song I think I've ever heard... and the saddest. :( But still amazing! And maybe I teared up when they melted ElphabaAnd then at the end... HUGE MEGA SPOILER ALERT BTW I'D STOP READING NOW UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN IT OR DON'T CARE. When Elphie and Fiyero were actually alive and not dead and ahhhh ran off together to be all <3>

And I just read something online that said that last night was the first night since Februrary that there hadn't been ANY understudies or stand-ins for any of the parts. :] Teal Wicks was definitely amazing and I would have thrown a fit if it wasn't her as Elphie. And then I would have come to see it again anyways in hopes of seeing her. :D Maybe it was because last night was LGBT night... At least, that's what some guy Swabby works with told him at the restaurant... Swabby came back and told us and was like 'and they're in row y or something' and we asked if he told them where we were and he was like 'yeah. They're jealous.' and we were like :P YAY.

Wow I think I'm all Wickeded out as far as retelling the story... :3 Weeeeelll until next time, I guess.

Defy gravity.

-Izzy

Oh, Thursday

Today was actually hella fun in classes where yearbooks were allowed :] otherwise, it was just like whuuuut why so much hw? ><>Back to studying!
-Izzy

Thinking Positive!

Hey so from now on, screw the bad stuff, Immana talk about positive things! Yay! I just think I've been to emo lately with my postings... :/ Sorry, whoever cares.
So we got yearbooks today... Boitz let us out early to go get them before school was even out, but they wouldn't let us in cause they weren't set up and Seniors were supposed to go first. Bummer, but then after about 20 minutes of waiting they let people of any grade that were waiting around come in and get their yearbook, so I got mine before a lot of people. It's really cool and really big, even though that makes it kinda hard to carry cause of the weight of all the pages... But it's really well done! It's funy cause you can tell all the people in Marching Band because we had to take our pictures during an hour or so break at band camp so we were all sweaty and red. My tank top tan's EXTREMELY obvious lol. But hey I'm used to laughing at horrible pictures of me so whateverrr. :D
And in orch we got the results of the silly awards we voted on. I didn't win anything (the prize was just a cookie anyways), but somehow I got nominated for America's Next Top Model. wtfff if anybody knows who nominated me for that pray do tell. I need to figure out what's wrong with them. ><>
And that's pretty much it. I should be studying for math but I'd rather blog and yeah. Whatever. Yearbook > math.
-Izzy

Another not so great day... But tomorrow can always be better!

So today in English we had to present these tableaux thingies. :/ 

Everything was okay until I stood up and accidently bumped my desk, which had my precious camera on it. It fell on the floor and for a minute I thoguht everything was okay... but then I discovered what i thought was the lens had shattered. I told the teacher about it and after inspecting it he deduced that it was actually only the piece of glass covering the lens, not the lens itself, that had broken, and so therefore was most likely fixable. 

So hopefully that gets worked out.

I was playing Wii Fit yesterday and I discovered I'd lost almost a whole BMI point. I used to be at about a tenth of a point underweight and now I'm almost a  full point under... Yay? Wii Fit still thinks I'm normal though! But my Mii looks freaking anorexic ;-; Oh well. This random loss of appetite is weird... my dad forced me to bring a Boost shake (what i'd always have for lunch before this non-hunger thing) to school so I ended up drinking it and my hunger came back a tiny bit... I'd rather it not, I kind of like this not having the urge to devour every piece of random crap in sight. Cause I wasn't eating terribly healthily. Is that even a word? Healthily? 

Whatever

-Izzy

:/

For the first time in freaking forever, I think I'm kinda depressed.

Well, first of all, I got to school this morning and everything was fine until about an hour into World Geo. I got called into the office to see the guidance counselor. On the way there, I was pondering why... And immediately thought of the worst that could happen - A conflict between orchestra and Japanese, both onesie classes. When I got there and was ushered into the counselor's room after about a minute of waiting in one of those chairs around this random table in the guidance office with a bunch of other students doing homework, reading, and, in the case of the guy next to me, playing guitar. o-o

I sat down in the counselor's office, and, after reviewing what I assumed was my tentative next-year's schedule in a packet of papers on her desk, she dropped the news on me. "It looks like you have a conflict between Advanced Jazz Ensemble and... Japanese 2." she stated simply, looking up at me as if expecting an immediate answer. My jaw dropped. It wasn't an orchestra conflict, but it was about as bad. I had auditioned for Jazz 2, thinking it would be untouchable by schedule conflicts because of its spot during 7th period. But apparently some classes had been moved around, and so now 7th period Jazz 2 was 6th period instead, the same time as Japanese. 

I really want to take Jazz 2 because even though it came as a complete surprise when I found out I had gotten in to the group (which I hadn't planned on auditioning for until my friend insisted I try about a week before auditions), even though I had gone in to the audition thinking of it just like another chance to prepare for my infinitely more important Advanced Orchestra rehearsal. So when I was called into one of the band director's offices during Orchestra one day and he told me the news, I just about peed my pants. In a good way. So even though I had been planning on going into Symphonic Band so as to keep up with Baritone, I agreed to make the switch. Thing is, I'm a bass, so there's only one in the section, and if I don't take the spot now, I may not have another chance in my High School careeer. That and I have no idea who would replace me, as one bass is doing SWE and can't fit it in his schedule and the other doesn't want to. :/ But the second time i talked to the band director, after talking to my Japanese teacher, he said that another conflict had arisen, and if there was one more, that they would have to move Jazz 2 back to 7th period. Somehow, they ended up with four onesie classes 6th period next year, which is bound to cause schedule conflicts: Japanese 2, Jazz 2, Chinese 5, and Chinese 6. So hopefully somebody else has a problem, otherwise I hafta make a really hard decision...

A decision I don't want to make, because I can't really drop Japanese. We're the last class of the language - there's no Japanese 1 next year. If anybody falls behind, the teacher doesn't know what she's going to do. But that also means I couldn't stay back and go to 2 my junior year (Which I wouldn't really want to do anyways), and I mean I'm pretty good at Japanese, but there's no way in heck I could learn enough over the summer to get into 3 next year... :/ And I really like the language, so I'd rather not pick another one and have to start all over from scratch, rather than building on what I already know. 

But let's be positive! Somebody else is GOING to have a conflict, so they'll HAVE to change it! Yeah! Positive! Now I forget the other thing I was sad about! 

Oh wait I remember.

So on top of that stress-ness, Finals are next week. And this past Friday was, as I've said the last orch concert. So these are like hte last couple days I'll see a lot of these people, especially the seniors, which makes me sad. And I haven't been eating much. :/ Idk if it's from stress or something, but I just haven't been hungry. And when I do feel hungry, it's not like a normal kind of hungry, but more like this weird stomach feeling (I know I'm so specific) but if I don't eat it just goes away and I'm not hungry anymore so I kinda haven't been eating cause I hate forcing myself to when I don't feel hungry... Which I guess is good cause it might help the other reason I kinda feel like crap, which is kind of my main second emo-face complaint thing. 

So this guy I've liked for a long time... CS. (Certan Someone, get it? ;o I'm too pro at abbreviations) He's really cool, I like him a lot. But he's always around girls, who are pretty much just his friends. But there's this one girl that hangs around him in orch (the only time I really see him) that... I dunno. It's weird. I'll look across the room at him and he'll be doing whatever and it's fine and then that girl walks over and I feel inferior. And I'm nothing more than friends with this guy, but I always feel like I'm less than these girls who hang around him, and it's all because they're these petite, cute little skinny Asian girls and welll.... I'm not. :/ BMI-wise, I'm a little under-weight, actually, but compared to these other girls I feel like a big fatty. And I hate it. Even when I'm having a good day, I take one glance at them when they're near CS and suddenly my day's a shitty one. 

Sigh.... Think positive?

-Izzy

It's All Over...

Soo I couldn't really write yesterday, cause by the time i got home, it was today. o-o

Yeah last night was the Orchestra end-of-year concert. It was AMAZING. I just can't believe another year of orch's pretty much over... The Seniors have been so unbelievably awesome I just can't put it into words... I'll miss them sososo incredibly much, along with one of our amazing band directors who's leaving us to get his PhD or something in Music Education. Some people put together a going-away video for him, and they showed part of it at last night's concert - I was seriously almost in tears. 

But then the whole mood was reversed and we were cracking up during the last piece because of the choreography the Seniors had put together for this John Williams medley we played. And after all that, we stuffed the basses back on the rack, kicked our music underneath, and ran off to Jake's for an after-party with the whole orchestra. 

We were some of the first people to get there, meaning we got the first pizza and everybody else was staring at us hungrily. x] Anyhoo so we got our pizza and ate it and after that I reeeeally wanted some spicy curly fries so I got some of those and when we finished, Jimmy and Eric were sprinkling salt and pepper from the shakers on the table randomly into the little paper thing the fries had come in. And then, shakers in hand, the two of them discovered the last piece of pizza, waiting to be destroyed. 'Hey, you wanna make the most disgusting piece of pizza ever?' Eric challenged, and I jumped in with the boys as they smeared the poor pizza with barbeque sauce, salt, pepper, bits of leftover fry, and a chicken strip, just for good measure.

And then of course they had to eat it. Eric took a bite, then choked on the sheer amount of pepper and chucked it across the table, where it lay for about two minutes before they decided to make it grosser. Eric and Jimmy unscrewed the lids of the salt and pepper shakers and dumped half a container of each on the poor pizza, which I then mized around with my straw. After that, it was a contest. Eric took a bite or two more and then died, and then Jimmy started eating some so then Eric had to eat more. Final score? 4-3 Eric won. 

But they were both on the verge of barfing so nobody really won in that aspect. :P A fun night in general the pics are hilarious, but I look like a retard in almost all of them. D:<

Oh well! :] Most amazing night since Championship Weekend of MB fer sure.

And next year, orchestra will be ten million times more amazing for various reasons including MB will start again so I get to experience another time the thing I've missed so much since its cessation in November. :]]]]

-Izzy

This one time, at Orch...

The other day in orchestra...

CS (certain someone ;o) sort of was staring at me... Strangely. I turned to him, heart pounding, and met his gaze. I started to smile a little, epic music playing through my head (or it may have been Boitz working with the violins) and then suddenly he opened his mouth to speak. I held my breath, bit my tongue, my pulse racing as I wondered what it was he was going to say. His lips started to form the fateful words, and then they fell from his mouth.

"I'm hungry."

So Sue's trying to get me back into this...

Hello people who read this! -coughSUEcough-

So yes.

My bestestestest buddy Sue who freakin owes me her life for me giving her the answers to the English homework has been blogging lately so I figured I'd get into it again. Not that anybody cares about my life anyways. Whatever. Hmm but I dunno what to really write...

Ooh!

Whoah the lines are really far apart when I type..

ANYHOO

uh

yeah

Today's Wednesday. Yee i know my days of the week, that's right. Tomorrow I've got a Jazz Band concert during which me and a certain somebody (<3)>

Cause there are four bassists in Jazz Band and well only one can play at a time soo yeah. 

One possible epic dance song is really beautiful and slow and heyy who know's what might happen lol. I was gonna attempy something at Jazz Cab with certain someone, but he had to play the piece after the slow song, so I didn't. :<

And even more exciting than that Friday's the end of the year Orch concert! It's so sad, cause I'll miss hte seniors sosososososso much... But it's been an UHmazing year. :] 

And now my butt's falling asleep -adjusts-

Anyhoo so after the concert we're all goin to BJ's, of course, and we're gonna get a table just for the basses and it will be EPIC and we'll have so much fun but Tina might not sit with us cause she 'doesn't wanna segregate' which is understandable because it's her last post-concert BJ's party ever... :<

On a random note, yesterday during PE, these two Pigeons flew into the weight room during PE and were sitting on a light over where Kayla and I were working out and I was so scared it was gonna crap on my head D: but it didn't.

and today two little birdies flew into the music building during 5th period and WOULDN'T LEAVE stupid things. They were just flying allll around. Good thing practice was in hte McAfee, otherwise the birdies would've been scared shitless. and considering they would've been flying over the people... yeahhhh.... Ooh and in Japanese Kayla and I got paired for our Dream House project. Our house is a freaking elephant. with a unicorn horn. That's actually a lazerbeam. And there's a unicorn ranch in its ear and a bathroom in its butt and a giant ddr in the living room :DDDD

Anyhoozle, I think that's about it... I gotta go practice bass / get ready for bed cause I got up super early to cram for my World Map test today (which I didn't fail yay!)

Toodles,

Izzy

Souper Bowl / I'm not random, I swear....

Ahh, Super Bowl Sunday...

The one day of the year when I get to be a bad American.

Cause instead of watching the game, I watch the commercials. 

Seriously.

Football hold no interest for me, unless there's a Marching Band at halftime. Which there never is cause apparently the Sooper Bowl is too important for a marching band. They have like the Jonas Brothers or something instead. Yeah I don't really get football. My Grandma tried to explain it to me once...

AND NOW A WORD FROM LIZZIE:

I second that notation, Izzy. D:

The commercials are lyk, the only reason I ever watch the souper bowl. Yes, souper.

*thinks*

Cause Soup goes in bowl so therfore it's a souper bowl 8D

(versus cereal bowl) 

(and versus oatmeal bowl)

(or rice bowl)

(or noodle bowl)

(or bowl bowl)

(you eat bowls in a bowl?)

(no but you gotta put bowls in something)

(true.. but then you must wash two bowls!)

(you have a valid point.... but the only bowls you put in the bowl bowl are clean bowls so the bowl bowl never gets dirty)

(indeed.. but.. if someeone is a messy eater than having a bowl bowl will get the bowlsbowl dirty and then you must wash the bowl bowl and therefore you waste water)

(but you wash the bowls before they go into the bowl bowl so even if you're a messy eater once you wach the bowls you would put them in the bowl bowl so the bowl bowl would be clean)

(how did we get from football to a bowl bowl?)

(souper bowl. nuff said. it turns people craaazy. and drunk. but only if there's beer involved. which there usually is. =])

(you forgot highness. i fly like paper, get high like planes~! PAPER PLANES FTW LOLOLOLOL I heard that song in Dogslum Noillim)

(o-o riiiight.)

(yeah, i has some issues 8D)

(otay.)

Special thanks to the wonders of TeamViewer for causing this randomness to happen by allowing Lizzums to control my computer. :D

Opportunity Knocks...

Okay, so maybe I'm crazy.

Maybe.

But I just can NOT pass up a crunchy leaf. 

Call it childish, I don't care.

I like to step on leaves. =]

Especially the crunchy ones. I don't know what it is. Perhaps the immensely satisfying crackle of a crisp autumn leaf just triggers something deep inside the brain, bringing back the childhood desire to pulverise anything crunchy.

After a while, I actually noticed myself getting so obsessed with crunching leaves as I trudged to and from school that I would actually backpedal a few feet along my route just to hit that one perfect acorn top or maple leaf. 

Why do I mention all this about a random hobby?

Opportunity.

Hell, it's everywhere.

You don't realise it most of the time.

But what I wonder is... Certain opportunities. Why take some and not others?

I seriously feel guilty if I pass up a reeeeally crunchy leaf, so I eventually have to go back and step on it. But if I have that perfect opportunity to ask a guy out? I've never taken it.

I mean, they always say when opportunity knocks, you should answer, right? So... Why can't I? Why can't a lot of people? Could be intimidation or a lack of confidence, maybe nerves... or all three. Ooh, that would suck.

Do I make any sense to you? Cause sometimes I don't make a lot to myself...

And even now I'm telling myself I'm going to grab every opportunity that comes my way, but come tomorrow or some other day, when the topic of Sadies or something comes up with that one guy... I'll be speechless.

...Why?